Comparing Again? Stop.

Nov 12, 2025

woman in black jacket sitting beside woman in black jacket — Photo by Jametlene Reskp on Unsplash

One thing that is guaranteed to hurt you is when you compare yourself with other people. That is the grass is always greener on the other side of the fence idea. Cows do it all the time. That doesn’t mean you need to do it.

The goal is to be happy with who you are, with what you are doing, where you are, and where you are going. Certainly, you can strive to be better at anything. That is pretty much a good thing.

But when the stain of envy or jealousy is on your heart. Yikes. You can do a number on yourself. Is this going to hurt whoever you perceive as having stepped over the line? No. They didn’t notice at all. They are clueless about what they have done to hurt your feelings. Does it matter? No. Except you are angry now. This is a terrific lesson about you not being responsible for anyone except yourself.

What are these horrible feelings you are experiencing going to accomplish? Nothing. You’re just angry. I guess you could hit a door with your fist, but if you are a writer, consider that your hands are valuable tools you use to write.

I am deciding to have a small book at my side, preferably one of my own writing, but since I haven’t written it yet, I want small pieces of inspiration on a page. It is designed to have a person read just one page at a time. Or, maybe the two pages that lay flat before them. I mean, they’ve got it open already on their desk or their lap. Left side and then right side. Feed your mind.

I can see it now. The book is less than an inch thick. It sits in the palm of my hand. The cover is comforting to me. I’m not sure how right now, but it is more than cardstock. I’m going to need to bind it myself in lieu of a publisher, but that’s okay. It’s for me. It’s to calm me down in moments of stress.

It can be a meditative moment. You’ve heard of the saying, “Garbage in – Garbage Out.” Calm yourself after you’ve endured an episode that raises your ire and your blood pressure. It’s difficult right then to ask yourself what is wrong. Do the calming first. You really don’t want to be stewing half an hour from now. That’s like radiating your system with anger. Get it over quickly. Like you took a dump and now it’s been flushed.

Do you even realize how much damage is caused when you are angry? Well, to be honest, you could be so addicted to this way of thinking that it would be like a raging alcoholic trying to quit drinking. And that can take years. Believe me, I know.

You first need to recognize how you are feeling, then decide in your heart what to do about it. Certainly, some of it can be grist for your writing mill, and some of it is worthy of letters to members of the government. I suppose I am selfish in that regard. I see the harm it causes you. And me.

Yesterday, a person I know called me just as I was sitting down to eat. I’d been writing since I’d awakened at 6:30 am. It was moving past 2 pm, and not only was I hungry, but I was still on a buzz from the writing. I’ve been pushing myself in that regard, trying to both improve what I’m writing, but also increase the amount that I write. The goal is to write a book alongside all the other stuff that I write about. Not sure exactly what the book is going to be. I think it will be fiction. Oh, and one of the characters’ names needs to start with a G. Spirit mentioned that. They said the seventh letter in the alphabet was a good one. But that’s just me.

Anyway, I didn’t take the call. Except the phone kept ringing. The lady in question is elderly, is recovering from a spell in the hospital, and is the neediest person on the face of the earth. I feel sorry for her and I try very hard to be polite. I might be in the same boat one day, except this has been going on for years.

However, I had talked to her recently. This is what she does. She fishes for information about the neighborhood. She had an opinion about another neighbor’s choice of car, which she’d recently purchased. Yarning on about how expensive that car was and how she’d have thought something else would have been more appropriate. Do you see how talking like this is like poking pins in your eyes?

The purpose of her telephone call never appears at the beginning of the call. Perhaps I’ll put her in a book. Oh, now that opens possibilities. Anyway, it’s a good half hour into the call before she gets to the point of why she had called. Trying to get off the call doesn't work. I seem to remember saying to her at least five times that I had to go. We roll right past that. Remember, the purpose of this piece is to let what other people do not affect you so much. This lady is pushing my buttons. I’m still writing about it, and the call I didn’t answer happened yesterday afternoon.

That’s the other thing. It’s not just one call. It’s the one the day after, because she never really finished the call on Day One.

Pauline, remember, be kind. You do you.

So, I’m not done yet. I’m still working on it.

Hey, thanks for reading. You know where to find me.